The following is not meant to replace talking to a therapist about any concerns you may have about your anger. It is meant to be a self-test you can use to begin to explore how you deal with your anger and whether or not it may an area that needs to be looked at further.
- I don’t show my anger about everything that makes me mad, but when I do – Look out.
- I still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past.
- Waiting in line or waiting for other people really annoys me.
- I fly off the handle easily.
- I often find myself having heated arguments with the people who are closest to me.
- I sometimes lie awake at night and think about the things that upset me during the day.
- When someone says or does something that upsets me, I don’t usually say anything at the time, but later I spend a lot of time thinking up cutting replies I could and should have made.
- I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong.
- I get angry with myself when I lose control of my emotions.
- People really irritate me when they don’t behave the way they should, or when they act like they don’t have the good sense God gave lettuce.
- If I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later, either with a weak spell, headache, upset stomach, or diarrhea.
- People I’ve trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed.
- When things don’t go my way, I get depressed.
- I am apt to take frustration so badly that I canot put it out of my mind.
- I’ve been so angry at times I couldn’t remember things I said or did.
- After arguing with someone, I hate myself.
- I’ve had trouble on the job becasue of my temper.
- When riled up, I often blurt out things I later regret saying.
- Some people are afraid of my bad temper.
- When I get angry, frustrated, or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs.
- When someone hurts or frustrates me, I want to get even.
- I’ve gotten so angry at times, that I’ve become physically violent, hitting other people or breaking things.
- At times, I’ve felt angry enough to kill.
- Sometimes I feel so hurt and alone I feel like committing suicide.
- I’m a really angry person, and I know I need help learning to control my temper and angry feelings because it’s already caused me a lot of problems.
Scoring of the self-test:
- If you answered true to 10 or more or the statements, you are seriously prone to anger problems. It’s time for a change.
- If you answered true to 5 of the statments, you are about average in your angry feelings, but learning some anger management techniques can make you a happier person.
- If you answered true to even one of the last four statements, then your anger has reached a danger level it’s time to get your anger under control before it takes your life out of control.
The tools under the How to Deal with Feelings and Situations category can certainly be used to sort out our anger and think before we act. There are also books specifically on anger-management like the one the above self-test came from (‘Of Course You’re Angry’ by Gayle Rosellini and Mark Worden). The book entitled ‘Dr. Weisinger’s Anger Work-Out Book’ has a good chapter on how an individual or couple can use a time-out technique to avoid arguments and resolve conflicts.
