Assertiveness can often be one of a person’s goals in therapy as an individual chooses to work on taking care of themselves in relationships with others; in learning how to set appropriate limits with others and learning the middle ground between being passive or aggressive.
What follows are some useful guidelines on the topic of assertiveness.
Characteristics of Passivity, Assertiveness, and Aggressiveness:
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR |
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR |
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR |
LACK OF EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS AND NEEDS |
OPEN-MINDED |
INCONSIDERATE OF OTHERS |
DISHONEST (EMOTIONALLY) |
TAKES CHARGE BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS |
THINKS OF SELF ONLY |
DON’T TAKE A STAND |
CONSIDERATE |
CONTROLLING |
IGNORING OWN RIGHTS |
SENSITIVE TO OTHER’S FEELINGS AND RIGHTS |
SELF-RIGHTEOUS |
AVOID CONFRONTATION OR CONFLICT |
EXPRESSIVE OF THEIR FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND NEEDS |
HOSTILE; BELLIGERENT |
INHIBITED |
TAKES A DEFINITIVE STAND |
CRITICAL/BLAMING |
DOESN’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SELF, FEELINGS, NEEDS |
CALM AND IN CONTROL |
ANTAGONISTIC |
HOLDING IN FEELINGS |
EMOTIONALLY HONEST |
OUT OF CONTROL |
SELF-DENYING |
OWNS THEIR FEELINGS |
INSENSITIVE |
RELYING ON OTHERS TO TAKE CONTROL |
DIPLOMATIC |
NEGATES OTHER’S RIGHTS AND FEELINGS |
VICTIMS/LOW SELF-ESTEEM |
WILLING TO COMPROMISE |
RIGIDITY, INFLEXIBLE |
COOPERATIVE |
VICTIMIZING |
|
DEALS WITH PROBLEMS, ISSUES |
JUDGMENTAL |
|
CONFIDENT |
||
PATIENT |
