When we become upset and feel mad, hurt, sad, etc. it is essential that we give ourselves some alone time to react and ask ourselves the questions below:
Situation –
What are we really upset about? Was it something that just happened or something earlier in the day?
Thoughts or beliefs about the situation (your self-talk) –
For example, “He had no right to do that”, “He did it on purpose”, “I’m such a failure”, etc.
Feelings –
How do you feel as a result of your thoughts? Are you angry, sad…?
Dispute thoughts or beliefs you wrote above –
Are your thoughts accurate or realistic (e.g., “Did he really do it on purpose?”, “Just because I didn’t do so well, that doesn’t mean I’m a failure”) ?
See the list below of unhealthy thoughts or beliefs we can sometimes have. Take each inaccurate thought and come up with as many thoughts as possible to challenge it.
Resulting Feelings –
When we give ourselves time to sort things out and challenge any “stinkin’ thinkin'” we often feel better and ready to do some problem solving.
Possible Action to Take –
Now that I’m aware of what happened and my thoughts and feelings about it, what might I want to do about it? Examples could be talking to the other person involved, doing something to relax, getting support from someone else, etc.
Action You Will Take –
Choose from the possibilities and carry out what you’ve decided to do.
