This is a list of things we can choose from to cope with situations and problems. The positive copers are those that help and do not hurt us in the process. The negative copers are things to avoid as they do not help and end up making things worse in the process.
POSITIVE COPERS:
DIVERSIONS:
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GETAWAYS:
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SPEND TIME ALONE. SEE A MOVIE.
DAYDREAM.
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HOBBIES:
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WRITE. PAINT.
REMODEL.
CREATE SOMETHING.
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LEARNING:
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TAKE A CLASS. READ.
JOIN A CLUB.
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MUSIC:
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PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. SING.
LISTEN TO MUSIC.
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PLAY:
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PLAY A GAME. GO OUT WITH FRIENDS.
SPEND TIME IN NATURE.
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WORK:
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TACKLE A NEW PROJECT. KEEP BUSY.
VOLUNTEER.
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FAMILY:
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BALANCING:
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BALANCE TIME AT WORK AND HOME. ACCEPT THE GOOD WITH THE BAD.
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION:
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LOOK FOR WIN/WIN SOLUTIONS. FORGIVE READILY.
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ESTEEM BUILDING:
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BUILD GOOD FAMILY FEELINGS. FOCUS ON PERSONAL STRENGTHS.
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FLEXIBILITY:
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TAKE ON NEW FAMILY ROLES. STAY OPEN TO CHANGE.
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NETWORKING:
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DEVELOP FRIENDSHIPS WITH OTHER FAMILIES. MAKE USE OF COMMUNITY RESOURCES.
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TOGETHERNESS:
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TAKE TIME TO BE TOGETHER. BUILD FAMILY TRADITIONS.
EXPRESS AFFECTION.
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INTERPERSONAL:
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AFFIRMATION:
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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. TRUST OTHERS.
GIVE COMPLIMENTS.
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ASSERTIVENESS:
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STATE YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS.S AY “NO” RESPECTFULLY.
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CONTACT:
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MAKE NEW FRIENDS. TOUCH.
REALLY LISTEN TO OTHERS.
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EXPRESSION:
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SHOW FEELINGS. SHARE FEELINGS.
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LIMITS:
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ACCEPT OTHERS’ BOUNDARIES. DROP SOME INVOLVEMENTS.
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LINKING:
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SHARE PROBLEMS WITH OTHERS. ASK FOR SUPPORT FROM FAMILY/FRIENDS.
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MENTAL:
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IMAGINATION:
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LOOK FOR THE HUMOR. ANTICIPATE THE FUTURE.
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LIFE PLANNING:
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SET CLEAR GOALS. PLAN FOR THE FUTURE.
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ORGANIZING:
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TAKE CHARGE. MAKE ORDER.
DON’T LET THINGS PILE UP.
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PROBLEM-SOLVING:
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SOLVE IT YOURSELF. SEEK OUTSIDE HELP.
TACKLE PROBLEMS HEAD-ON.
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RELABELING:
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CHANGE PERSPECTIVES. LOOK FOR GOOD IN A BAD SITUATION.
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TIME MANAGEMENT:
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FOCUS ON TOP PRIORITIES. WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER.
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PHYSICAL:
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BIOFEEDBACK:
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LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. KNOW YOUR PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS.
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EXERCISE:
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PURSUE PHYSICAL FITNESS. JOG. WALK. SWIM. DANCE.
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NOURISHMENT:
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EAT FOR HEALTH. LIMIT USE OF ALCOHOL.
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RELAXATION:
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TENSE AND RELAX EACH MUSCLE. TAKE A WARM BATH.
BREATHE DEEPLY.
USE SOOTHING IMAGERY.
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SELF-CARE:
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ENERGIZE YOUR WORK AND PLAY. STRIVE FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT.
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STRETCHING:
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TAKE SHORT STRETCH BREAKS THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
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SPIRITUAL:
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COMMITMENT:
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TAKE UP A WORTHY CAUSE. INVEST YOURSELF MEANINGFULLY.
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PRAYER AND MEDITATION:
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SPEND TIME EACH DAY IN SILENCE. GIVE THANKS.
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SURRENDER:
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LET GO OF PROBLEMS. LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE SITUATION.
EXPERIENCE THE NUMINOUS.
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VALUING:
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SET PRIORITIES. BE CONSISTENT.
SPEND TIME AND ENERGY WISELY.
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WORSHIP:
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SHARE BELIEFS WITH OTHERS. PUT FAITH INTO ACTION.
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FAITH:
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FIND PURPOSE AND MEANING. TRUST YOUR HIGHER POWER.
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PRAYER AND MEDITATION:
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SPEND TIME EACH DAY IN SILENCE.GIVE THANKS.
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SURRENDER:
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LET GO OF PROBLEMS. LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE SITUATION.
EXPERIENCE THE NUMINOUS.
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VALUING:
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SET PRIORITIES. BE CONSISTENT.
SPEND TIME AND ENERGY WISELY.
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WORSHIP:
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SHARE BELIEFS WITH OTHERS. PUT FAITH INTO ACTION.
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NEGATIVE COPERS:
ALCOHOL:
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DRINK TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD.
USE ALCOHOL AS YOUR FRIEND.
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DENIAL:
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PRETEND NOTHING’S WRONG.
LIE.
IGNORE THE PROBLEM.
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DRUGS:
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ABUSE COFFEE/MEDICATIONS.
SMOKE POT.
POP PILLS.
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EATING:
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KEEP BINGEING.
USE FOOD TO CONSOLE YOU.
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FAULT-FINDING:
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HAVE A JUDGMENTAL ATTITUDE.
COMPLAIN.
CRITICIZE.
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ILLNESS:
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DEVELOP HEADACHES/NERVOUS STOMACH/MAJOR ILLNESS.
BECOME ACCIDENT PRONE.
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INDULGING:
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STAY UP LATE.
SLEEP IN.
BUY ON IMPULSE.
WASTE TIME.
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PASSIVITY:
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HOPE IT GETS BETTER.
PROCRASTINATE.
WAIT FOR A LUCKY BREAK.
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REVENGE:
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GET EVEN.
BE SARCASTIC.
TALK MEAN.
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STUBBORNNESS:
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BE RIGID.
DEMAND YOUR WAY.
REFUSE TO BE WRONG.
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TANTRUMS:
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YELL.
MOPE.
POUT.
SWEAR.
DRIVE RECKLESSLY.
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TOBACCO:
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SMOKE TO RELIEVE TENSION.
SMOKE TO BE “IN”.
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WITHDRAWAL:
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AVOID THE SITUATION.
SKIP SCHOOL OR WORK.
KEEP YOUR FEELINGS TO YOURSELF.
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WORRYING:
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FRET OVER THINGS.
IMAGINE THE WORST.
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