How Trust is Developed Between Myself and Others:
- When I share confidences, they keep it confidential.
- When they know my deep dark secrets, they don’t throw them back in my face.
- They have to demonstrate to me that they don’t give hollow compliments.
- They won’t let me take advantage of them by manipulation and taking control of them.
- We have a mutual stroking system that is honest, and not based on saying what we think the other wants to hear.
- Honesty and openness exists in all interactions (vs. dishonesty and defensiveness).
- Constructive feedback is given about my behavior, continually.
- The person exhibits consistent behavior, or will own it when inconsistent, and take corrective action steps when appropriate.
- Perfection is not required, but accepting responsibility for imperfections is.
- The person’s “say” and “do” are the same.
- A long enough period of time is given for the person to prove self as being trustworthy.
- When a commitment is made, the person keeps it or deals with it responsibly.
- If one and one don’t make two, then we check out assumptions as to why not, rather than being indirect or smoothing over to avoid confrontation.
- If one of us needs to say “no” to a request from the other, (s)he is direct and responsible about this, and the other deals with the “no” constructively.
